It's going to take ages for me to get all of this sand out of my hair, nostrils and ears. Being honest though, the prevalence of tiny mineral particles currently residing in and around my head is the least of my worries - now that I realise the football team I love so much are so shockingly bad. Like a clumsy Egyptian rower I've been in denial. Having now opened my eyes I'm aghast at what I'm seeing. Glasgow Celtic, its current version at least, are a dreadful football team.

 

I've spent too many of the last few years basking in hypothetical Celtic futures where our better players are given responsibility and the team develops, evolves and grows to become something all Celtic fans can be proud of. But I now realise this is an impossibility under the current regime. We've been champions of Scotland for three years and this fact alone has been enough for me to feign contentment. Even if the whole time I have been fully aware of how bad our neighbours have been over at 1860 Glasgow. Now the Rangers are worse than they've ever been - and Celtic have managed to secure a place below them in the league table. How is this possible?

 

Well all the credit has to go to our idiot of a manager. Gordon Strachan arrived at Celtic preaching about how he intended playing football properly - the Arsenal way essentially. Inevitably with financial restrictions smothering Scottish football this isn't always easy. But its not impossible. When Tony Mowbary was Hibernain manager a few years back he always insisted his side keep the ball on the ground and move it quickly - executed admirably mostly with a bunch of home produced Scottish players. The most entertaining Celtic side I ever saw back in 1995 was put together for a fraction of the cost of the current squad. The late Tommy Burns managed to construct a fine football side even with limited talent available to him. Sure Andy Thom, Paul McStay and John Collins were technically gifted players - but the Peter Grants, Simon Donnellys and Malky Mackays also functioned well within a well coached unit. The current Celtic squad of 2009 should, player-for-player, be able to construct something at least resembling a football side. Instead we've become an abomination to the concept of "the Celtic way". Willie Maley and Jock Stein would be appalled to see what we've become. In recent months Celtic have been atrocious. On form we're currently the fifth best team in Scotland. Hardly a badge of honour. This afternoon against Motherwell Strachan changed the team which would suggest he's at least acknowledging his enormous failings. But after presumably much reflection the decisions he favours in order to improve our lot are inexplicable.

 

Celtic currently have a young Barcelona product Marc Crosas within their ranks. Now if history teaches us anything, its players who've been educated at the Nou Camp can play a bit. From Guardiola to De La Pena, from Xavi to Gabri, from Iniesta to Fabregas - Barcelona produce good midfielders. There is no shame not making the grade at the biggest club in the world. Crosas must have come to Scotland thinking he had a magnificent opportunity to play on a smaller stage but for a club with a certain stature. Little did he know the manager convincing him to leave Spain for sunny Glasgow would then decide a flapping, incompetent journeyman centre-half called Gary Caldwell would be elevated to play midfield at Crosas' expense. It must break the young Spaniard's heart as much as it does my own. And here's what hurts the most; Celtic have won every game Crosas has started and are statistically lucky to pick up a point whenever mighty Caldwell is used in midfield. There is simply no reason or logic behind Strachan's decision making any more.

 

Our style of play is now completely bereft of imagination and SPL sides are finding it increasingly easy to stop Celtic scoring goals. Strachan's solution for this is a total 100% over-reliance on the genius Shunsuke Nakamura who's powers appear to diminish by the week. So exhausted he is having carried this shower of mediocrity for the last few years. Our other proven conjurer, last season's Player-of-the-Year Aiden McGeady, has now been reduced to a place on the bench following personal issues with the "gaffer". The young Irish international is lucky to get 20 minutes - now routinely thrown on in desperation after 70 minutes of footballing misery.

 

I'd be angry enough if it was just McGeady and Crosas being under-used but there's plenty of others as well. Just last month we signed one of Scottish football's better players Dundee United's Willo Flood. This young Irishman joined despite warnings form his Tayside manager Craig Levein that he wouldn't get a game at Celtic Park. Flood ignored the warnings and I myself felt they were overly cautious. Today Flood was an unused sub during a truly awful 90 minutes of what I'm reluctant to call football. Add to Flood the two shining lights from the reserve team; Paddy McCourt and Koki Mizuno. Both of these talented attacking midfielders are stand-outs in the reserve league and have lit up the first team during the cameo appearances they've been granted. Both have done enough to earn a run out during this hopeless period for the club. But that's what it has become under Gordon Strachan - hopeless. Why blood new talent and risk improvement when we can just resort to awful Lee Naylor lumping the ball up the park in the general direction of the equally poor Jan Vennegoor of Hessilenk?

 

Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it. Celtic must realise their current stagnation before its too late or we are facing 2005 all over again - handing the league flag to our terrible neighbours from the other side of the river. Whether it's Tony Mowbray, Owen Coyle or whoever - a change at the helm is required or SS Celtic is going to sink without a trace. If the suits at Celtic Park have an Operation Valkyrie i hope they execute it sooner rather than later.