Crystal Palace defender Matt Lawrence has probably been knocked about at some time in his life, as evidenced by his lack of teeth, so surely he should be a good position to comment on Ryan Shawcross's horror tackle on Arsenal's Aaron Ramsey.

Erm, wrong! Mr. Lawrence's comments in the Daily Mirror today go some way to proving the point that professional footballers make lousy pundits.

Players are not in a union for nothing. They all stick together. Even when one of their number is mutilated, they all gather ranks and go into denial.

Lawrence is an intelligent person. Quite an intelligent footballer too, though not blessed with the same pace and skill as that which was a pre-injury Aaron Ramsey was blessed with.

No wonder Lawrence's sympathy lies with Ryan Shawcross. Another defender. Another player relying more on the English attributes of hard work and over-zealous tackling.

But no wonder people wonder if footballers can give an honest view on the game. I mean, if an intelligent guy with a degree like Lawrence can't, then who can?

Here's an excerpt with my comments in bold: "And then the human angle.

"Shawcross trudging off the pitch. Bewildered, aghast and disbelieving of the injury his challenge had just caused. Tears. A young man’s tears. The shock."

The guilty conscience kicking in?

"Aaron Ramsay physically, and undoubtedly, mentally scarred.

"Ryan Shawcross remorseful, and emotionally traumatized."

Which one would you rather be Mr. Lawrence? The guy in hospital with a career-threatening injury or the 'emotionally traumatized' one with tears of regret training with England?

"Am I wrong in believing that Wenger and his conspiracy theories are overtly paranoid?"

In a word, yes. How do you explain three horrific injuries in five years?

"The injuries received by Eduardo and Ramsey are without doubt two of the most awful things I’ve seen on the football pitch.

"But, I have studied both challenges, and I do not think for one second either player, Taylor or Shawcross, intended on harming their opponent. Not in the slightest. Probably didn’t even mean to commit a foul, let alone inflict such horrible injuries."

I just saw an elephant flying past but I brought him down with a thigh-high challenge. It's okay though 'cos I went to kick him in one of his imaginary balls and I mis-timed it.

"I’ve witnessed untold acts of violence on the football pitch. Whether that means punches (Merry Fistmas Mr. Lawrence), elbows, lunges, or two-footed challenges and neither Taylor’s, nor Shawcross’s challenges, were within a million miles of those egregious acts."

Your article is 'egregious' Mr. Lawrence and you've been the perpetrator as well as the victim of some of those challenges you mention.

"I like to think I would be one of the first to vilify a player for purposefully maiming another opponent."

When have you ever done that Mr. Lawrence?

"On this occasion, I do not think it is the case."

Very diplomatic, Mr. Lawrence!

"I believe that the only sensible form of recourse is to wish Aaron Ramsay all the very best. I hope he gets out of hospital soon. I hope that it is not too long until he walks again."

The most sensible thing to do would be to ban Shawcross until the day Ramsey resumes his career, if he ever does.

"I hope with all my heart that eventually Aaron Ramsay can return to the scintillating form we have seen these past months.

"I just wish him well."

I bet Rambo feels a whole lot better now. Merry Fistmas to you too Mr. Lawrence!